The Halloween House

We had another weekend full of real estate adventures. There were three, count 'em, THREE houses on our list that the owners were reluctant to actually have people look at.

The people that owned the first place said they were in the middle of renovations, so it would be a mess, and they seemed uncomfortable with the fact that someone wanted to look at it. It WAS a mess, but I think the reason they really didn't want us to look at it was the fact that they had not finished framing over top of the six foot wide pool of water in the basement.


Some poor sucker is going to buy this place after the water is hidden under plywood, and man will they get a shock two years from now when their basement flooring either collapses or grows mold.

The second place that nobody wanted us to look at is, like the first place, an active listing on the market, and yet when we called to book a viewing, they said they'd rather not show it to us as there are currently "title issues" and the place cannot be sold until the issues are resolved. Is it just me, or is it stupid to keep a house that cannot be sold on the market?

The third place had a complicated story. The listing agent was out of town and the agent covering for him neither picked up his phone nor answered messages for three days. Our real estate agent finally called the listing office instead and reached a real person. A "duty agent", who knew nothing about the property, agreed to take us out to see it. Then he called back saying he couldn't reach the tenants to ask permission to show it. Then he called us back again and said the tenants moved out, but they trashed it, and the owners (who live in Minnesota) don't want us to see it because it's messy and hasn't been cleaned yet. They wanted to know if I could wait until after the following weekend so that the property management company could come in and clean it first. I said I didn't care about the mess. He called us back again to say that he didn't have a key but the owners told him how to break in. This all seemed very complicated, and I sort of wondered why nobody was prepared to show us a house that was for sale.

So we went to see it. "Tenants trashed it" was not an accurate description. Yes, there were three old refrigerators and other assorted trash in the yard. Yes, there was garbage and rubble scattered on the floor in the house. But in addition, the roof was sagging and rotting off, all the windows were rotting out of their frames, and an entire kitchen had been emptied of appliances, cabinets, walls, everything. Some rooms did not even have drywall on the walls, and we had to view the place with the aid of a flashlight because there was no power. There was cat poo in the closets and every five feet of the (very uneven) floor had a different type of ratty old linoleum on it, except for the parts that had exposed sub-floor with nothing on top. Stains on the walls indicated where rain had poured into the house through the rotten roof. I wondered why the owners were so concerned with having it cleaned up. The house obviously has to be torn down, and sweeping rubble out of a room would take care of probably 5% of the problems. The duty agent was of the opinion that the place should be for sale for less than half the current asking price.

What a waste of time! Did these people think that nobody would notice the horrible condition the house was in? I was actually surprised that someone apparently lived in the place until recently.

Then there was the place that Mark called "the doll house". It had tiny little hallways, even tinier little bedrooms, low and claustrophobic ceilings, and no room in the kitchen for a full-sized fridge or stove. We were investigating the living room when our real estate agent tried to crank open the window. The handle came off in her hand. She looked at Mark and deadpanned: "you didn't see that", then smirked. I don't think she was impressed with the place.

In the basement we found pools of water. Again. I should mention here that it wasn't raining that day. We were all standing quietly in the basement when we heard a funny burbley sound. We located the source, and it seems that water is welling into the basement from underground. Maybe the house is sitting on a spring? I don't know. Maybe that could be a selling feature: "work from home! Bottle and sell your very own line of spring water!"

Okay then. That was the bad stuff. Are you ready to hear the good stuff?

We actually did find a place to buy! It's not rotten, there are no title issues, and the basement is dry dry dry! It's a modest little place in the valley that backs onto hiking trails and a river. It's been well kept and lots of upgrades have taken place recently. There are a few obvious renovations we could undertake to increase the value of the house for when it's time for us to sell it, but there's nothing that needs attention immediately, so we're not under any pressure.

The funny thing is, this place is not even on the market. So let's recap: we have trouble viewing places that ARE on the market, but no trouble viewing a place that ISN'T on the market. The agent knows the owner, and the owner told her that if she could find her a buyer, she'd sell it. She's had a stroke recently and can no longer maintain the house and yard. If everything works out, our closing date will be October 31st - a house for Halloween!


Will it work? Stay tuned...