overheard under the tree

ARLO: Just because you're teensy-tiny doesn't mean everyone likes you more.

OLIVER: Yes it does. Look at how many Christmas presents I got.

ARLO: I got some toys too.


OLIVER: Yeah, but you have to share ALL of those toys with me, and I got a gazillion adorable outfits to wear that make me look EVEN CUTER than I already am, and you didn't get any clothes.

ARLO: But it doesn't mean people like you more. Actually you're a bit of a jerk to people.

OLIVER: Yes, I am a jerk. I bark rudely at people for ten minutes, but then they LOVE ME as soon as I creep up next to their feet and stare at them with my disproportionately large puppy-like liquid brown eyes. Everyone secretly loves me the most.

ARLO: You know, I'm a Registered Therapy Pet. I'm pretty much the perfect dog. I gravitate to the injured and sick and am very gentle with small children. I am kind to everyone.

OLIVER: Yeah, but you're big. I'm little and cute. No matter how badly I behave, nobody cares.


ARLO: You know, I picked up a Miniature Pinscher in my mouth once.

OLIVER: You wouldn't.